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Boys Don't Cry

Title: Boys Don't Cry
Author:ladyunebarton
Character/Pairing: (11) Doctor/Rose
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes, temptation is so strong that you can't fight against it. Some other times, circular paradoxes had to be fulfilled. The Eleventh Doctor is about to find out his role in the life of a younger Rose Tyler. And he has to break her hearth again, because he was Jimmy Stone all this time. And he can't escape that fate.
Disclaimer: I dont own it.
Author's Notes: Read it, I dont have any friends, so Hello?.




+0+

The TARDIS was exploding, that in itself was not new. With broken bits all over the place and the manual lost in the time vortex. This sort of thing tended to happen to him and the old girl all the time. Sometimes it took one big hit over the controls, but this time it made more damage than solve the problem, wherever the problem was.

"Do try your best to land softly sexy, I know you aren't feeling well, but crashing is not the solution either.." said the Doctor while manically pressing buttons.

The ship exhaled painfully and that made the doctor feel terrible.

"I'm really sorry dear, you know I was not trying to hurt you, as soon as we land, im going to fix you up. Promise, cross my hearts." He said taking hold of the leaver.

His crazy old eight incarnation had fixed one little cable with gum, maybe it was time to replace the damn gum, maybe using tape this time.

He was thinking that when the TARDIS finally crashed. He hit his head over the controls and fall flat on the ground with a painful grunt. He was on his feet with a jump, his head hurt and was actually bleeding.

"Auch…" he said to no one in particular. His lovely sexy ship shut the main systems and the lights dimmed. "We are on earth, right?, the closes thing. But the year…Ah…that is the question.."

The computer was down too, so no answers there, so he better got down to business. He jumped the railing and went directly to the small tunnel. It had to be the gum!. It had to be!. He couldn't think of other explanation.

He crawled in the organic looking passages until he had quite the small space and looked really hard. Sure enough the gum was charred and along with it, all the system board that held together the time vortex container. That was not good.

So, it could move in space, but not time. And it looked like the space mobility board was next to be burn by the look of things. Not good, not good at all.

He took it out with the sonic screwdriver and pocketed it on his jacket. He crawled out and decided that it was better to begun looking for parts. With long strides he came out of the ship.

London, beautiful and populated London. 21th century by the look of things. That was actually good news, at least he was not stranded in the middle ages. He could replace parts from a number of house appliances.

He went back and said. "Don't you worry; it's going to take a few days, but I'm going to patch you up really good. Things aren't looking that bad now my dear. I'll be back in a few days. Don't go anywhere!."

+1+

He went to the convince store and got some custard, no fish fingers sadly, but the custard was good. He got the local newspaper and found out it was 2003. Oh dear, the temptation to see one pretty amazing lady was just too strong. The Powell state not far, but it hurt. He knew he had a face she would never remember. But this body was not a patient one. He would touch and that was never allowed anymore.

It hurt, some hundreds of years since that bay. It still hurt with the same intensity. But that was the wolf; she leaved a print all over him. No matter how much time passed. He would always….

He would…

He keep walking. Walks, you see, so very refreshing. Streets full of people living small and amazing lives. With kids running about, girls with boys, middle aged men with suits, all very normal.

Today he was one of them, and for the next couple of days. It's actually quite fun, he remembers. And he's glad he can have this kind of opportunities. Not forever thou, he wants to keep moving, because, like any other old man. If he stops moving, he began to remember names and dates, and faces that tend to say 'Doctor!'. Or worst, things he keeps buried on one big mausoleum inside his head, images of his childhood, images of his family and friends, and then war, dead and lost.

But if he keeps walking he meets new faces and new people that would be someday memories too. In the meantime, it's better than been alone.

He goes to an instrument store. He could use some violin strings and guitar plugs. He's thinking about metronomes and the small precise parts inside them. He's all over the place, taking this and that; everything could be useful to take him back to the music of the universe.

"Quite a lot of stuff you got there…" says a young lad.

And then he remembers this body is young too, in the outside. He tends to forget drown by the real age inside.

"Oh yes, yes!" he answers excited. "Music, music is cool"

"Sure is" he says. "what do you play mate?"

"Well…I can play any instrument. Been jamming a lot"

He thinks about the honky tonks of New Orleans. He thinks of that one time he meet Elvis, and when he went to play to Johns Lennon's house. That was fun, better than Beethoven's house.

"That's kind of awesome, me and my mates have a band, have been playing for a while, but we lost a guitarist, moved out with his mom. To a nicer place, fancy house his stepdad got"

"Well, that's lame" he says smiling.

"So, what are you, one of those brainy gits, you know like Mozart?"

"Oh no, no. Too much spare time to practice. Took really long for me to start playing good"

"Oh so, you're good?!"

He took the laps of his coat with a smug smile. "Well…, I am really awesome"

"Oh yeah?, care to show me?"

He's stuck here, why not have some fun in the meantime. He took one of the guitars and starts playing a Muse song, because it's London after all. And it's going to take a while before this song goes out.

He did have fun, he was out of mind with the music that the whole store stopped dead and looked at him play a song that was way to barmy. He got a crowd around him in minutes. And when he finished silence followed.

"Oh…" he said smiling. "I guess you guys aren't ready for this yet. But your kids are going to love it.."

"Dude, that was awesome?, Is it yours?" said the kid.

"Not really, its and oldie, oldie from where I came from"

"You really are good, man…, I'm going to see my mates to play, want to come?"

"Well…I don't know"

"Come on man!. You have to!"

"Oh ok, just for a few songs mind you, I have work to do"

"Great!" exclaimed the lad. "What's yer name anyway?"

"John Smith"

"Dude, that was so awesome, I don't know where you came from, and what music they play, but my mates are going to love you. My name is Robert Hartman by the way."

"Nice to meet you Robert"

He was a young man, with cropped hair and styled clothes from this time. He looked like a good chap. Black hair and sunburned arms.

+2+

"This is Harold, he plays the drums, and this is Gary, he plays the bass, and me as you know play the guitar. Our mate David left the band, but the guitar he used was actually mine. We live here, in this bedsit, you now, because we are waiting to hit it grand someday."

"Oh yes, it looks quite comfy in here…" he said letting himself hit the battered couch.

"And this is John Smith, wait until you hear this guy, he plays the barmiest I ever seen"

"Let's hear it then!" said Gary or Harold.

Music, the ultimate universal language. The one and only, the TARDIS did not need to translate for him.

He loved music so much, that he submerged in his role. Playing along with them, improvising and adding arrangements to their songs. And when he realized it was dark outside. Time to go back to the TARDIS.

"Oh man!, stay the night, Fred let the room he used, you can have it"

"Well…" he said.

"We have some beer"

"I don't like drinking in this body"

"See!, completely bonkers this one!" said Robert.

"We have pot!" added Harold.

"I don't do that either!" he said.

Well, not exactly truth. The 23th century was the one when the marihuana was legalized in all the human colonies. It was Jack, of course, the one that incited them to do it, Rose and him.

They had one amazing night of laughter. But over all, they always did. So the stuff didn't really improve something.

"Come on man!, don't be a party popper!"

It really must be his age finally haunting him, because he was feeling prudish when he knew deep down, how fond of the stuff his fourth self was. Also, every one of his self where different, some liked it, others didn't. He wondered if this body would like it. It was young after all.

"Umm, alright, but just a bit"

Because you know, its better to regret things than wondering for a life time, and that, was really a long life time. Besides, he was old enough, experienced enough to know his own limits.

The stuff was stronger, it burned his throat. It was smaller now, high pitched and delicate. He missed fourth´s voice, deep and rich.

The complicated breathing system was full of the stuff, his lungs working to contain it. After a long time he let the smoke out. The other boys were silent and quiet and not really noticing how long he could hold his breathing.

"I smoked this kind of little herb once. I was old, so old, my first me. Well, I was young too. More like a baby, you know. A fully grown baby I was. Well, Barbara, she was so excited, because I was an elder in this place we visited, would have been an insult not to do it. First time ever I felt like a stupid old man"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Robert.

The other guys weren't really paying him attention, but now they were.

"This body tends to talk a lot" he said with a smile.

"Man, you sure are stoned." Said Harold.

"Am I?" he asked stupidly. "I feel fine, clear headed. More than ever I think"

"Jimmy, Jimmy" Robert said laughing.

"My name is not Jimmy, Its John!"

"Whatever man, we just meet you, I think you have a stoned face"

The others laughed too. He frowned.

"Yeah, that's your name now, Jimmy Stoned"

"Stone…, like the rolling stones?"

"Oh man" Robert smiled. "Yes you are"

"Jimmy Stone" he said. The words rolling out of his mouth. It was weird. Some kind of déjà vu. But that was normal too. Like crashing his ship. Because, things never happened in the right order. Timmey Whimey and all.

Deep down, where ten's memories and consciousness were buried, his annoyed voice exclaimed something about the lines of 'remember you idiot, you know that name'.

But Fourths voice was talking too, saying something else.

He was so high he didn't pay attention to any of them. Sometimes they talked all at once. He muted all when he felt crowded in his brain. Lately it always felt that way, so he keep them silent all the time. They were stronger when he was week, that's why they started talking in the first place while he was drug.

Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Any of that.

+3+

He woke up suddenly. "Okaaaay, I'm not doing that again".

The other kids were laying around over the carpet. They fall sleep at some point. He did too, with dreams of distant and forgotten places. Green skies, deep cold oceans and hot moist breezes.

Whatever make him do it in the first place, was gone this morning. He was feeling regret, but at least, that was something he knew very well. Just one tinny mistake lost over the long list of everlasting sorrow.

Maybe not really knowing these kids deprived the whole experience. Maybe, just maybe, he was feeling lonely again.

That was the true sickness, and there wasn't any medicine for that.

He pretended to leave quietly, but he stumbled over his own feet, and hit Robert in the knee.

"Uh…I'm going now, it was fun last night, it really was, but I should go back to my work"

"Oh dude, you can't. We have a gig tonight. And we were hoping you could fill in with us. Just this once, it's kind of important for us. It's at our mate's house. There could be someone from a record company, that's he said"

"That's lovely, but I can't be part of the band, I'm a traveler, I can't stay"

"Anything you want mate, you ask. Just for one night"

"I don't want anything, I have to leave"

"Please!"

He wanted to say. I don't want to be attached to you, I don't want to know you, because I will at some point, invite you along on my trip. He always did with those little apes.

"Oh okay" because, one more night couldn't hurt. "But I'll be back later, I really need to….fix my car. I'll see you here"

"Perfect!" he said with a big and trusting smile. "See ya around eight, but drop the gramps look"

"I like my clothes!, I like my bowtie, and if I can't wear it, forget about tonight"

"Oh all right mate, whatever you want"

"Right to!" he said going to the door. "See you later"

+4+

"You wouldn't believe what I did last night. Or maybe you know. Well, I smoked pot…..again. It's getting old, to tell you the truth. I am definitely getting old myself. But back to busyness sexy lady. I brought a blender and a computer. Not your usual standards, but oh well, not the first time we have to make it with this. An improvement, if you ask me, those are top of the market this time"

The TARDIS flicked his lights and he felt a warm feeling at the back of his head. He smiled.

He was not alone really. This was his woman, and he was his man. Something that never really changed. She was not going to leave him, or broke his hearths. He tried very hard not to think about….the red headed one and his husband.

He crawled to his work on the belly of the ship. "Play some music baby, I'm feeling musical."

As always, she put her favorite song. Billy Joel's Piano Man. He was singing along the music.

Silence, you see, more than a fearful enemy. Could drive a man insane, but music ah, it was way better than talking monologues all day. At least his girl had a full collection of digital music.

"I am singing tonight…." He chuckle. "Meet some boys yesterday. It's a great hobby, don't you think?"

The ship exclaimed what could be like rolling his eyes.

"Oi!" he said. "I don't sing that bad!"

He took all day to work on the ship and by seven he finished reconstructing the charred remains. It looked better, enough to get back to the 51 century and get some decent technology.

"I promise you not to drink or smoke weed. Its bad for anyone, specially me. I tend to babble a lot."

He walked to his quarters and took a good shower, he went naked to the closet, because really, that was the beauty of traveling alone. He decided to wear the Johnny Cash look. Maybe he was mourning still about….that couple.

His black dressing shirt adorned with white suspenders that contrasted. He opened his bowtie drawer and chose a silk shiny black one. It didn't get lost over the black. He combed his hair and decided in front of his mirror to have fun tonight. That's after all, what all his past companions and lovers always wanted. They wanted him to be happy and get on living. And he had to try, because if it didn't then he would lose.

Lose to the depression. The idea was playing in his head for a while now. About leaving everything and care for no one. He thought of stopping his mad run, and just stay in one place and never getting hurt again.

It was so damn tempting.

But tonight he was trying again. Giving him the opportunity of meeting people and care about them. The opportunity to have good mates that would not be lost on other dimension, taken away, or killed. He was craving for human touch.

He took a leather jacket. Not nine's jacket, because that was something he treasured, it was in that one that he meet Rose Tyler, the leather was hugged by her. Sometimes he thought it still smelled like her. And that was just too pathetic, but he couldn't stop himself.

Anyway, back to reality Doctor. He said to himself and losing a little the sour expression in his face.

+5+

"So, what are we playing anyway?" he asked the guys. He was cramped in the back seat of the old van with his guitar ready. Harold's arms were big and getting annoying against his ribs.

"We were thinking about The Smiths, you do know their songs, right?" asked Gary while driving.

"Yes as matter of fact I do." He said smug.

"Well, fucking hell. You really are something mate, we could throw you anything and you would still play fucking fantastic"

"Yep, that's me, the great, the only, and the oncoming storm. The god!"

"Stop flattering yourself" replied Robert with a smile. "What, did you smoked again?, going about again about the past, and the future, and the time streams, and physics"

"You went like about half an hour mumbling Physics, physics, physics" said Harold with a laugh.

"Physics, physics, physics" said Robert with a poor imitation of his voice. It sounded girly.

He scowled. "I don't sound like that". And his voice broke with indignation, that only make them laugh harder.

"Mate, ye were so stoned I bet you didn't know the celling from the floor."

"Keep rolling over the carped too" said Gary looking at him in the review mirror.

"Okay, so I was a little stoned last night. In my defense….." he opened his mouth but nothing came out. "Well, I don't have one"

They sniggered their way to the party. They went on and on with amusing stories of him being an idiot.

He found it funny too, in the end. Because really, he behaved like an idiot, more than usual.

"And then you said you were afraid of the silence."

"That's a real fear" he said. "I am afraid of it."

He never said why. They stopped suddenly and when he looked outside, his hearts stopped too.

"No…no….no" he said. "It can't be.."

"What's the matter mister Jimmy Stone…"

"This place... I cant be here…"

"Now Jimmy, I understand this is a rotten neighborhood, but it's not that bad."

"That's not it!" he said scared. "This were…she….I…..I"

"Get some balls mate. It's just the Powell state."

"Yes…that's exactly the problem".

Here he was. Sitting in the back of a van, with a couple of lads, parked outside the Powell state. The lights of Jacky's Tyler apartment was on. Inside, there was a girl he knew. No….that wasn't fair. He said he would never forget her. Inside, was Rose Tyler. The love of his long and tragic life.

He wanted to cry. Feelings were stirring with intensity. He wanted to run those stairs, the old familiar pat, ring their bell and…..and….

He shakes his head.

Typically him, so close, and yet, so very far.

He couldn't, that was his curse. One of the many he had. Last time lord and all.

"It's nothing…" he said.

Because it wasn't. Nothing to do about it. Case closed. He smiled with fondness to her window. Soon he thinks, not many years from now. She would meet him. And he would never change a single thing of it. He loved her. But Nine had to find her.

He went out of the van, took the guitar and followed his mates. Tonight he was playing a concert to this place. To the Powell State, to the girl that grown here. For my Rose, he thinks. Because she would always be his.

Melancholic smile and all, he went with his new mates to another part of the state, a few apartments down from Jacky's. Lights were turned off and music roared from the speakers. Drunken youths walked out, stumbled about in laugh. Pretty girls with the stiff smell of whiskey and beer.

Some parts of the apartment were so dark that people just seemed like an endless mass of shadows dancing. The people near the window were smoking and screaming to by standers in the street below.

There wasn't any furniture, the floor was muddy and sticky with spilled drinks. They party probably had been going on for a while, but more people keep coming in and was so cramped that they ended on one corner, quite one over the other. The drums were just behind him and he nearly feel over them. He helped the guys installing the equipment. Cheers from the crow were constantly heard over the music.

"I'm ready" said Harold adjusting for the last time his bench.

"Let's hit it boys!" he said. "Boys don't cry!"

They looked at him weird.

"You know it, right?"

"Yeah, whatever man, its ok" said Robert.

"Lets jam…" he smiled.

The cd music was stopped, for a few moments the voices raised, he smiled to the crowd. This night was all about Rose Tyler, he should know.

The guys started the song imminently and the crowd cheered the song. Robert looked at him and pointed the micro with his chin. He nodded and stepped to the front.

He began the song peaceful enough, but as the lyrics keep going, the tears began to fall from his eyes with him powerless to stop them.

"I try to laugh about it, Cover it all up with lies, I try and laugh about it, Hiding the tears in my eyes, Because boys don't cry!" He used quickly his fist to clean the tears. "I would tell you, That I loved you, If I thought that you would stay. But I know that it's no use, That you've already gone away"

Oh Rose Tyler, I should have said it while I still have time.

"Now I would do most anything, To get you back by my side, But I just keep on laughing, Hiding the tears in my eyes 'Cause boys don't cry"

The song ended and there was a warm round of applause.

"Mate, are you all right?" Asked Robert with a worried expression.

"I'm all right" he tried to smile, but had to clean the tears again.

"Are you sure?, You look quite not all right et all"

"Yeah, I'm ok, what's next?"

"Wanted to play some smiths, but, boy, you are emotional tonight, not sure if it's a good idea anymore"

"I think it's perfect"

"Well then, how about 'the boy with the torn in his side'"

The doctor smiled.

Robert nodded. "It will be ok mate, let it out if you want"

"I will"

He singed 'The boy with the torn in his side' and tried no to cry about this one. He barely made it. After a couple songs more, some which were sang by Robert. They began with There's a light that never goes out. They planned to play some of their own song, well the bands songs. So this was the last cover of the night.

They decided that his voice sound more like Morrissey. So he began.

He was quite distracted about the same time that the lyrics said "I thought oh god, my chance has come at last, but then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask."

Then he choked on his own voice.

The light that streamed from the corridor outside of the flat, had just scare him with the form of no other than Rose Tyler. A younger Rose Tyler.

Full of make out, a skirt that showed way too much skin and a blouse so thin that he could almost see her naked.

It was so unholy that his voice broke and lost the song, and he stopped playing altogether and his guitar made some screaming noise in the speakers, and was so terrible that everyone in the room looked at him and silence fell.

And oh god. Rose Tyler was looking at him, really looking. And this was a mistake it had to be. It had to be some dream. It had to!

The boys stopped playing too and by a few seconds no one knew what to do and then people was screaming and Robert began playing again and ended the song alone.

When the music ended, he was standing still looking at her, she wasn't paying him attention anymore, she was talking with friends.

He had to get the fuck out of here.

He did not.

Writer's Block: Little monsters

If you could create a monster movie, what kind of monster would it be, and what would be the underlying moral of the story?


Zombies, the end of the world. the end of society

hungry

Im taking care of baby bastian. And Im so fucking hungry, they dont serve food in this house, and Im diying. Damn....

Sobre el Harryton. Resulta que me tardo 40 minutos por fanfic. No creo poder hacer todos los retos, por que me ire a dormir justo, ahora. -o-

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